one nation under stupid

 

The following video clip is a few years old and the programme featured therein could probably be attempting hyperbole in its depiction of the general American mind. Nevertheless it is insanely funny to watch:

 

Americans are NOT stupid – WITH SUBTITLES

 

It is stuff of urban legend that the land of McDonald’s, Coca-Cola and Hollywood is a land filled with daft people, if casual correspondence with americans is anything to go by. I am often bemused by the aura of mystique and authority we Singaporeans love to bestow on our caucasian expatriates or tourists, let alone those who belong to the North American continent. We seem to treat them with more respect than our Japanese, Korean or Chinese counterparts. Yet if put to the test, I reckon the average Singaporean is craftier, more intelligent and more politically astute than our yankee counterparts.

 

I would also reckon that from every level of society starting from the very top, we Singaporeans crush the yankees in the intellectual game. Just compare Lee Hsien Loong or his father with any of the past US presidents in the past few decades and enlightenment comes. It baffles me how a country bumpkin like Bush could be a political leader, let alone great pretenders like Ronald Reagan whose intellectual faculty is found wanting by his consulting astrology during his tenure.

 

It becomes worse when idiots like Pat Robertson, Mick Huckabee, Rick Perry, Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin could even have opportunities to become the top dog in the land. If they were in Singapore, they would barely make it past Junior College.

 

The average student in Singapore, South Korea and Japan could probably calculate and spell rings around the average American pupil who probably dreams of becoming a brainless football or basketball star, the next American Idol or some other empty vessel.

 

Then again, it is also a fact that because of its upper hand in technology, the US is the leading nation in the world for scientific research, which of course, requires good brains. Probably poached ones, I suspect. And their universities overpopulate the top twenty at the expense of their truly brilliant Oxbridge counterparts (pardon the bias, ) and edging out many of Europe’s and Asia’s bright lights.

 

They have the money, I suppose.

 

Or more likely than not, our impressions of the yankees could be influenced by the unfair representations of the media of the American people, whose loud-mouthed empty vessels often get the limelight, both religiously as well as politically. It is time the american free thinkers, atheists and episcopalians gather their numbers and wage a cultural war against the idiotic evangelicals who occupy the majority of the world’s attention. It is no surprise that most of the idiotic Republicans are evangelicals.

 

How stupid can a people, from an industrialised and developed country, descend into??

 

*******

 

another military-related death

 

There is this irrational and somewhat lunatic belief among national servicemen in Singapore, especially the NSFs (National Service Full-time), that because of some ill-conceived notion of camaraderie or ridiculous notions of male bravado, one has to constantly push oneself mentally in order to achieve feats of prime physical fitness.

 

In some quarters, especially among the type As who have this obsession to “win at all costs” or to “be the best” at every opportunity, and in their pursuit of Officer Cadet School (OCS) glory – they psyche one another by preaching the virtues of perseverence and mental strength – as though by the very act of mental perseverence one is able to accomplish anything.

 

Rubbish.

 

And before anyone accuse me of playing the hypothetical game or caricaturing the unwritten cultural codes of Singapore National Service (NS) life in the armed forces, let me say first and foremost that as an able-bodied Singaporean male who could perform more than thirty pull-ups (chin-ups) at one go in my prime, I was an NSF before, and an ever willing participant in the silly game of male bravado.

 

Let me also mention the fact that I was able to perform chin-ups effortlessly and for that matter most feats of upper-body strength – I climb up ropes using only my arms while adorning full battle order (FBO) with webbing, backpack, helmet and rifle – whereas most of my fellow blokes would be using their legs as well. And such a feat was never achieved because of sheer mental willpower or perseverence – I already had the physiological capacity and general propensity towards upper-body fitness and strength – and hence it was just a matter of mild practice before I could handle all those rope and wall climbings.

 

And there were many who were simply not made for such feats of strength as despite all the torturous and gruelling attempts at beefing up their upper bodies, they could only manage the passing grade of six pull-ups in the eventual tests. There were significant others who could not even manage three pulls after all that torture.

 

Come on – there are some people who are just not physically strong enough – and that is that. It is nonsensical to push them beyond what they can offer.

 

The “mind over body” mantra is nothing but a fallacy and a lie.

 

Admittedly, I have NEVER made the passing grade for the 2.4km run in my two and half years in the military. In fact, the one occasion which I mustered all of my perceived inner resolve to pass, along with the verbal “encouragement” (more like verbal abuse) from my then Officer Commanding (OC), I managed to finish the run with a few seconds short of the passing grade.

 

And still…there were idiots who accuse me of “not trying my best” and “not pushing hard enough”. There were even some schizophrenics who thought I was malingering.

 

This is male silliness for you.

 

And although such silliness had indeed “pushed” many to OCS “glory” (which does not prove the “mind over body” fallacy at all but simply demonstrates the fact that these blokes have it in them all along to make it), it had CAUSED MANY DEATHS as well.

 

For the past few years, it has become commonplace to read about this soldier and that soldier collapsing and dying after a run. The demographics have become mixed recently, with deaths coming from both NSFs as well as Regulars (the “professionals”). The most recent case was that of a 28-year-old NSman (reservist) who fainted after completing his 2.4km run as part of his annual Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT), which one has to undergo every year until he consummates his national service obligations at the age of from 35 to 40.

 

He may have completed his run and made a passing grade. But at what price??

 

He lost his life, FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE! And many men like me are wondering if the Remedial Training (RT) for NSmen are anything good after all. For fear of being attached to a RT scheme which distracts many from professional and family commitments, many men choose to push themselves to make the passing grade. There are many who can. But there are also those who simply can’t.

 

And all those senseless deaths in the Singapore Armed Forces are evidence of the simple fact that not everyone is made for physical competence, let alone the soldier’s life of irrational obedience and ridiculous discipline.

 

My managing to “graduate” from national service unscathed has nothing to do with my physical competence or skill. I am just one of those who refuse to be like sheep in blind irrational obedience to authority. As a free-thinking individual, I have always treasured my individualism and independence from any form of autocracy, be it religious or military.

 

As such, I never pushed myself physically beyond what I could manage. When my arms ached from doing too many push-ups, I simply stopped – to the consternation of my platoon sergeants who “punished” me with more push-ups, of which I simply tell them politely that I could not do anymore.

 

Unless they want to pay for my medical bills.

 

Similarly, if my feet ached or I was feeling the strain, I would simply stop the running and started walking – whether or not that would result in my failing the grade. That is my inalienable human right.

 

And no one can force me – unless they want to see another dead man.

 

Of which they did and still are, at the expense of the poor parents who had no choice but to allow the government to torture their young sons.

 

If I have a choice, I would rather my son NOT go through national service. Does national service really make boys into men? Does national service really mature our young men? I don’t think so – there are many countries without military conscription and their men are still…just men.

 

Besides, I know of many friends who were decent gentlemen who, after entering the armed forces, became foul-mouthed and sex-crazed perverts who cannot stop talking about sex and using the f*ck word in their speech.

 

And one calls that “maturity”?

 

Bah!

 

*******

 

the “super league” and all that hype

 

(source)

 

Although an argumentum ad hominem can always be utilised for my not being a soccerphile in general as I would never conceive the sin of ever losing my sleep for a three or four a.m. football match on the telly, one cannot be forgiven for accusing me of treason.

 

Singapore is the beautiful city state in which I was born and raised, educated and plied my trade, a peaceful oasis of calm and prosperity amid the chaotic mess that often reads as the description of our tumultuous geographical region. It is thus utter lunacy and a crime against the state for the ridiculous clobbering of all that is our own.

 

When our table tennis team emerged runners-up in the 2008 Olympics and world champions in a subsequent tournament, idiots all over the country grumble about the fact that we were but a neo-chinese team, devoid of pure Singapore stock. Some lunatics even cry foul when our very own swimming champion Tao Li obliterated the opposition in the 2011 Southeast Asian Games – she was after all, born in China.

 

And it becomes criminal when many good-for-nothing, booze-gurgling blokes become fanatical devotees of foreign football clubs like the useless outfit from Anfield and the devilish thugs from Old Trafford – which still brought back nightmarish visions of cantona-esque violence – while rolling their eyes over our country’s sincere attempts at psyching up support for our national football team as well as our domestic league.

 

What is the warped reason for worshipping a group of thugs so unlike our ethos while trying to desecrate our own? What is the foolishness of going drunk-mad over a group of English hooligans chasing after a ball when the same time could be spent investing in conjugal or emotional bonds with one’s spouse? Or the love of one’s family? Or the support of one’s own national aspirations?

 

And so…it is OUTRAGEOUS to read of the reactions of Singaporean netizens who constantly take potshots at anything Singaporean – our public transport system, the flooding situation in certain parts of Singapore, the PAP, our attempts at brushing up our spoken English, etc. – and now our forays back into the Malaysian football league.

 

The match was aired live on the telly last evening, and of course, rather than cheering a foreign rabble of thugs, it is more reasonable to be behind a SINGAPOREAN team instead. Of course, please forgive my insolence, as I often find it infuriatingly odd as to the belligerent antics of foreign football fans (including that of Malaysia and Indonesia). Football seems to attract hooligans.

 

Still, I admit it did nothing to revive the past age of Malaysia Cup fever in the late 1980s and early 1990s, of which memories of Fandi Ahmad, Abbas Saad, Alistair Edwards and V. Sundramoorthy still linger. Perhaps I’ve grown older and hence the zealous naivete of youth eludes me. Perhaps the fever has indeed been revived last night, but somehow my interpretations of the past-present continuum has been twisted.

 

Yet the experience of last night might well prophesy of better things to come in our hopes of having something of a football culture. The marketing spin on the twelfth “player” in the Singapore Lions is interesting as it is deliciously patriotic. But somehow as mild as we are, as tame as we are, we are too civilised and courteous a lot to become the monstrous horde as our Indonesian or even Malaysian neighbours are.

 

In fact, I would rather believe that for our fans to be able to become virtually the twelfth player on the field – we have to be as barbarous as the Indonesians who use foul language at rival teams and behave riotously when their own team loses.

 

But somehow, I reckon, that we Singaporeans are too civilised and polite for that.

 

We have better things to do and live for.

 

*******